This is sweet.
This is the tumblelog of Lindsay Katai, avid supporter of your local soft rock station.
This is sweet.
Dealing with strong, painful emotions can be overwhelming and even lead to thoughts that your situation is so unfixable that the only way out is suicide. That is NOT true nor the case and every situation is either fixable or something you CAN get through. But when you’re in a high-stress emotional state, we can no longer think logically and do what we can to help ourselves. So the first thing we must do is get ourselves calm down enough to be able to use a coping skill.
* Breathing out longer than you breathe in actually activates your parasympathetic nervous system!
Anxiety is your sympathetic nervous system (“fight or flight”) setting off all the alarms, while breathing like this will set the parasympathetic system (“rest and digest”) into action shutting off the alarms and settling your nerves.
Other things that help: laughing, checking out what’s going on around you (moving head and eyes to orient to your surroundings), getting curious about something. (via notyrqueer)
Note: if you have any medication for anxiety that you are prescribed to take in high stress situations (as opposed to a set time and dosage you do every day on a routine) and you have not reached your maximum prescribed dosage, this might be a good time to take it. But only if you need it.
Once you’ve gotten yourself into a calmer state, we can start to use what’s called our wise mind. Basically we have our emotional mind (which I’m sure we’re all quite familiar with) and our logical or rational mind. Wise mindis the idea that neither one nor the other, but both of these combined is the best way to think about what to do and how to react. If we just used our emotional mind, we’ll get lost in our pain. If we only use our logical mind, we’ll be invalidating our emotions and ignoring that those are important and valid and must be included in how you choose to respond or see a situation. So when you use your wise mind, you can make a more balanced decision.
** Once you are able to be a bit more calm and use your wise mind, you should do what you can to ease whatever it is that is upsetting you. First ask yourself, “Is this the right time to deal with this?” For example, do you need to go to sleep soon so you are fully rested? Would doing so disturb others around you (like doing loud activities while others are sleeping)? Would it negatively affect you to do this right now (the person who is angry is still angry and needs space)? If after consider if it really is the right time to do this right now, and you think it is, then it’s time to fix the problem.
Is it homework? Start working on it. Procrastination will only increase the anxiety as it puts more and more pressure on you the less time you have. (Remember to breathe.) Is it chores? Go get them done. Is it a problem with a friend or loved one? If they are open to talking about it at this time, try that. (There could be a whole post on relationship effectiveness but you can find some information here and here.) Is it making some phone calls? Get them done.
Note: It is entirely okay to ask for help if these things are too overwhelming to do alone. Ask a trusted friend or family member to either sit with you while you make a call, for example, so you can look to them if you need to know what to say or for reassurance that you’re doing okay. Maybe have someone sit near you while you do homework so you know you’re safe. If you can, have someone work through it with you to lessen the load.
† If the problem can’t be fixed right this minute, or it is not the right time to do it, then do what you can to prepare yourself. One way you can do this is through radical acceptance. That means to accept your situation as it is, that you cannot change it right now, and you will have to deal with it. With radical acceptance, you can look at what’s in front of you and really give yourself the ability to problem solve. If you focus too much on what life should be like, or what should have happened instead, or what you or someone else should have done, then you are not looking at the problem in front of you. You are trying to change the past so that it’s not a problem anymore. But the fact is that it is, and it’s upsetting you, so you have to accept that it is happening so that you can do something about it.
‡ If there is nothing you can do right now, then it’s time to focus on what we can do, which is to improve the moment and make “right now” better. The way we do this is to use a coping skill. This means choosing to do activities or actions that make you feel better either by soothing yourself through the senses, being kind to yourself, doing something that can affect the mind through the body (like exercise or calming tea), or distracting yourself. There is more to it than that, but for right now, pick through the list below and choose a few that might help you and remember them. (Maybe keep a journal of things that end up helping you so you can refer back to it in a high emotional state.)
- Listen to music
- Go for a walk
- Take a relaxing bath or shower
- Drink some tea
- Deep breathing (5 counts in, 5 counts out)
- Call/text a friend
- Think about something you are grateful for
- Make a list of things you are grateful for
- Watch a funny video
- Eat your favorite snack while savoring the flavors
- Take a nap
- Journal (write your thoughts/feelings) ….Click here to see the rest of the list.—-I know sometimes it can feel like coping skills won’t help and that because they’re not fixing the event that originally caused the distress, but remember that you can’t think about how to deal with a situation properly when you are solely in your emotional mind. It cuts off your ability to reason fully. So if you can find a way to make yourself feel better, not only will it make it easier to handle the situation at hand, but you being happy is important. You are important. You really deserve to be happy and nothing is unfixable. There are steps you can take to feel better. You just have to give it a try.Note: This post and the information and links provided are not a replacement for real, medical treatment. Please do not stop taking your medication or change your dosage without your doctor’s consent or knowledge.If you are suicidal or thinking about harming yourself please call 911 or call the National Suicidal Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. (U.S. only. To find the suicidal hotline for your country, click here.)
DBT Self-Help Resources: Coping with Extreme Emotions
Tbh this is basically all you learn in rehab and psych wards
And in some cases it’s more…
Was scanning Tumblr to try to calm down and distract myself RIGHT NOW because I’m feeling anxious about a situation with a friend and this post popped up. I might actually sleep tonight. Good looking out, Internet.
The entire thing was caught on tape.
n. the moment of realization that your quintessential self isn’t going to show up, which forces the role to fall upon the understudy, the humble kid for whom nothing is easy, who has spent years mouthing their lines in the wings before stumbling out into the glare of your life, which by then is already well into its second act.
You’ll be the bell of the ball in these corpse-like Cabbage Patch Kids necklaces. It’s the best way to say, “Not only am I suspended in my childhood, but my childhood was a terrifying wasteland of despair, to the point where these doll faces look normal to me.”
Okay people, are you ready to freak out about this?
Abi Morgan, brilliant brilliant writer of The Hour has written this movie called Suffragette, about the early steps of feminist movement, that will feature an abundance of badass female characters fighting against oppression. No seriously, take a look at the official synopsis:SUFFRAGETTE is a thrilling drama that tracks the story of the foot soldiers of the early feminist movement, women who were forced underground to pursue a dangerous game of cat and mouse with an increasingly brutal State. These women were not primarily from the genteel educated classes, they were working women who had seen peaceful protest achieve nothing. Radicalized and turning to violence as the only route to change, they were willing to lose everything in their fight for equality – their jobs, their homes, their children and their lives. MAUD was one such foot soldier. The story of her fight for dignity is as gripping and visceral as any thriller, it is also heart-breaking and inspirational. [x]And no, I’m not done here. Lo and behold: the cast.Carey Mulligan, Helena Bonham-Carter, Meryl Streep (yes you heard me), Romola Garai, Anne-Marie Duff, Ben fucking Whishaw, Brendan Gleeson and Samuel West.Oh, and yeah, it will also be directed by a woman, Sarah Gavron, who’s known for Brick Lane.I’m generally careful with advanced praise but DO YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF FEMALE CAST AND CREW KICKING ASS.Also those of you who haven’t seen The Hour yet, do. Because this woman knows how to write her female characters (and, coincidentally, her male ones as well. What a surprise.).I’ll be in my corner waiting for early next year (which is when they said they’d release it, but there’s no actual date set so far).
And then there’s Maud.
Thank you and goodnight!
I was looking at someone’s reblog of a bunch of cute dog photos and all of a sudden I remembered that when going to Blockbuster to rent a movie with my family as a teenager, I would always try to work my way over to the DVD of this movie Shiloh (which I have never seen) because it has a really cute photo of a beagle on it. And I would stare at the photo for as long as possible, because that dog is super cute. It’s a super cute dog, yo. It was so fucking cute that I was embarrassed by wanting to look at it as much as I wanted to look at it. So I would always, ALWAYS try to make walking over to it seem as casual and unintentional as possible. And while standing in front of it, I would pretend I was looking at other things as well, but really I was 100% there to look at that Shiloh cover with that cute dog. And I would stay there for as long as possible until it seemed like I was pushing it. As though any second a member of my family would notice I had ulterior motives for standing there. Or be like, “Why does Lindsay always want to rent an S movie?” Or a customer would shout out, “Where is the manager of this establishment?! There is a teen staring at this DVD for longer than is socially acceptable!”
I wish I could go back in time and tell teenaged Lindsay that she is worrying about things to an insane degree. And that in like 15 years time, Blockbuster won’t exist and all we’ll do is stare at cute animals on our technological marvels all day long. You weren’t alone, teen Lindsay! Everyone loves photos of cute dogs! It’ll be okay, you sad little weirdo.
And you know what? In looking at this poster now, I’m like, “Eh, I’ve seen cuter.” And that actually makes me kind of sad. It’s like hearing a piece of music that used to make me cry, but now I feel nothing. I take it back, teen Lindsay. It’s not going to be okay You’re going to grow up to be dead inside. Not even a small beagle can make you feel. You’ll need beagle puppies just to feel something. And then who knows how long that will last? Soon you’ll need ten beagle puppies in an Easter basket dressed like bunnies or some shit. Soon not even a beagle fetus will make you feel alive. Welcome to adulthood, asshole. Beagles mean nothing to you now! Go pay bills and cook dinner now, you shell of a person. Teen Lindsay would be ashamed of you. She used to risk her life just to look at this beagle and now you can access all manner of cute animals and you’re not even grateful. They’re just lost on you. You didn’t even remember who you used to be until now. You make me sick.
This post started out fairly normal. I don’t know what just happened.
This is the single best Ask Amy response I’ve ever read
i love it when people who do shit things write in asks to validate their shittiness and it backfires. It feeds me
"Perhaps this is something you could ponder from your church pew."